What Does Proverbs 31 Say About Marriage?

Marriage is a central theme in many cultures and religions.

For Christians, the Bible provides timeless wisdom on relationships, and one of the most revered passages is Proverbs 31.

Often celebrated for its depiction of the “virtuous woman,” this chapter also offers profound insights into the nature of a godly marriage.

If you’re looking to understand what Proverbs 31 says about marriage, you’re in the right place.

What Does Proverbs 31 Say About Marriage

A Portrait of a Virtuous Wife

Proverbs 31:10-31 is a beautiful acrostic poem that describes the characteristics of a virtuous wife.

It’s more than just a list of attributes; it’s a blueprint for a strong, faith-based marriage.

Here are the key qualities highlighted:

Trustworthiness: “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” (Proverbs 31:11, NLT)
Diligence: “She works with eager hands.” (Proverbs 31:13, NIV)
Wisdom: “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26, NIV)
Compassion: “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” (Proverbs 31:20, NIV)

Trust and Confidence

One of the first things Proverbs 31 emphasizes is the trust and confidence a husband has in his wife.

In verse 11, we read,

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

This suggests that trust is foundational in a marriage.

When you trust your spouse, you create a safe space for both partners to thrive.

Hard Work and Dedication

The virtuous wife in Proverbs 31 is described as industrious and hardworking.

She’s not idle or lazy; instead, she “works with eager hands” and “sets about her work vigorously” (Proverbs 31:13, 17).

This dedication to her family and her tasks demonstrates the importance of diligence and commitment in a marriage.

Mutual Respect and Support

A godly marriage isn’t just about one partner embodying virtues; it’s about mutual respect and support.

Proverbs 31 reflects this balance:

Respect: “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.” (Proverbs 31:23, NIV)
Support: “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:12, NIV)

Respect for Each Other’s Roles

In verse 23, the husband is depicted as respected in the community, implying that a virtuous wife supports and elevates her husband.

This mutual respect is crucial.

Each partner should honor and value the other’s contributions to the marriage and family.

When you respect each other’s roles, you build a partnership based on equality and appreciation.

Being a Source of Good

The passage states that a virtuous wife brings her husband good, not harm.

This speaks to the idea of being a source of positivity and strength in your partner’s life.

Marriage should be a relationship where both individuals uplift and support each other, bringing out the best in one another.

Wisdom and Kindness

Proverbs 31 doesn’t just focus on actions but also on character.

Wisdom and kindness are essential traits for a healthy marriage:

Wisdom: “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26, NIV)
Kindness: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26, ESV)

Speaking with Wisdom

The way you communicate with your spouse can profoundly impact your marriage.

Proverbs 31:26 highlights the importance of speaking with wisdom.

This means choosing your words carefully, offering encouragement, and providing thoughtful advice.

When you speak wisely, you foster understanding and harmony in your relationship.

Teaching Kindness

Kindness is at the heart of a loving marriage.

The virtuous wife in Proverbs 31 is praised for her kindness and compassion.

This is a reminder that how you treat your spouse— with empathy, patience, and love— can strengthen your bond and create a nurturing environment for your marriage to flourish.

Balancing Family and Work

Proverbs 31 also touches on the balance between family responsibilities and work.

The virtuous wife is portrayed as someone who manages her household efficiently while also engaging in productive work outside the home:

Household Management: “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27, NIV)
Entrepreneurial Spirit: “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard.” (Proverbs 31:16, NIV)

Managing the Household

Verse 27 emphasizes the importance of managing household responsibilities diligently.

A stable and well-managed home is crucial for a happy marriage.

This doesn’t mean adhering to traditional roles rigidly, but rather ensuring that household duties are shared and balanced in a way that works for both partners.

Embracing Opportunities

Proverbs 31:16 highlights the entrepreneurial spirit of the virtuous wife.

She’s not confined to her household but is also involved in business and trade.

This illustrates that a balanced marriage allows both partners to pursue their interests and contribute to the family’s welfare.

Supporting each other’s ambitions can lead to personal fulfillment and collective success.

Faith as the Foundation

Finally, Proverbs 31 underscores that the foundation of a godly marriage is faith in God:

Fear of the Lord: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30, NIV)

A God-Centered Marriage

The virtues described in Proverbs 31 are rooted in a deep reverence for God.

A marriage built on this foundation is likely to be strong and enduring.

When both partners prioritize their faith, they align their values and goals with those that are pleasing to God.

This spiritual connection can provide guidance and strength throughout the ups and downs of married life.

Prioritizing Inner Beauty

Verse 30 reminds us that while external beauty may fade, inner beauty—character and faith—endures.

In a marriage, valuing each other’s inner qualities over superficial attributes fosters a deeper, more meaningful connection.

Conclusion

Proverbs 31 offers a comprehensive guide to building a godly marriage.

It highlights the importance of trust, mutual respect, hard work, wisdom, kindness, and a strong faith foundation.

Whether you’re preparing for marriage, looking to strengthen your relationship, or simply seeking to understand biblical perspectives on marriage, Proverbs 31 provides timeless principles that can help you nurture a loving and lasting partnership.

Incorporating these values into your marriage can lead to a fulfilling and harmonious relationship that reflects the virtues celebrated in this treasured passage.

As you strive to embody the qualities of the Proverbs 31 wife or support your spouse in doing so, remember that a godly marriage is a journey of growing together in love, respect, and faith.

Feel free to reflect on these verses and principles in your own life, and let them guide you towards a stronger, more fulfilling marriage.

FAQs: What Does Proverbs 31 Say About Marriage?

1. What is the main theme of Proverbs 31 regarding marriage?

The main theme of Proverbs 31 regarding marriage is the portrayal of a virtuous wife who embodies trustworthiness, diligence, wisdom, kindness, and faith.

It emphasizes the qualities that contribute to a strong, godly marriage, highlighting mutual respect and support between spouses.

How does Proverbs 31 describe a virtuous wife?

Proverbs 31 describes a virtuous wife as:

Trustworthy: Her husband has full confidence in her.
Diligent: She works eagerly and manages her household efficiently.
Wise: She speaks with wisdom and offers faithful instruction.
Compassionate: She cares for the poor and needy.
God-fearing: She prioritizes her faith in God.

What role does trust play in a marriage according to Proverbs 31?

Trust is fundamental in a marriage, as highlighted in Proverbs 31:11.

The virtuous wife is someone her husband can trust completely, which enriches his life and provides a secure foundation for their relationship.

Trust fosters safety, openness, and mutual respect in a marriage.

Why is diligence important in marriage according to Proverbs 31?

Diligence is important in marriage because it reflects commitment and responsibility.

Proverbs 31 depicts the virtuous wife as hardworking and industrious, managing her tasks with eagerness and vigor.

This diligence contributes to the well-being and stability of the family.

How does Proverbs 31 emphasize the importance of mutual respect in marriage?

Proverbs 31 underscores mutual respect through the depiction of both the wife and husband.

The wife supports and brings good to her husband, while he is respected in the community.

This mutual respect enhances their partnership and acknowledges the value of each other’s contributions.

What does Proverbs 31 say about communication in marriage?

Proverbs 31:26 highlights the importance of speaking with wisdom and kindness.

Effective communication in marriage involves offering thoughtful advice, encouragement, and maintaining a compassionate tone.

These qualities help build understanding and harmony between spouses.

How does Proverbs 31 balance family responsibilities and work?

Proverbs 31 illustrates a balance between family and work by showing the virtuous wife managing her household effectively while also engaging in entrepreneurial activities.

This balance suggests that both partners can contribute to the family’s welfare and pursue their interests, leading to a fulfilling marriage.

What is the significance of faith in a marriage according to Proverbs 31?

Faith is the foundation of a godly marriage in Proverbs 31.

The virtuous wife is praised for her fear of the Lord, indicating that her qualities are rooted in her faith.

A marriage centered on faith aligns the couple’s values and goals with God’s guidance, providing strength and direction in their relationship.

How does Proverbs 31 view inner beauty in the context of marriage?

Proverbs 31:30 emphasizes that while charm and physical beauty are temporary, a woman’s inner beauty—her character and faith—is enduring.

In marriage, valuing each other’s inner qualities over external appearances fosters a deeper, more meaningful connection.

Can the principles of Proverbs 31 apply to both spouses in a marriage?

Yes, the principles of Proverbs 31 can apply to both spouses.

While the passage specifically describes a virtuous wife, the underlying qualities such as trustworthiness, diligence, wisdom, kindness, and faith are valuable for both partners.

Embracing these virtues can strengthen any marriage.

How can I incorporate the teachings of Proverbs 31 into my marriage?

To incorporate the teachings of Proverbs 31 into your marriage, focus on developing qualities like trust, diligence, wisdom, kindness, and a strong faith foundation.

Support and respect each other’s roles and contributions, communicate with compassion, and strive to balance family responsibilities and personal aspirations.

Why is Proverbs 31 often referenced in discussions about marriage?

Proverbs 31 is often referenced in discussions about marriage because it provides a detailed and idealized description of the virtues that contribute to a strong and godly marriage.

Its timeless wisdom and practical insights make it a valuable guide for those seeking to build a fulfilling and lasting relationship.