What Does Jesus Want for Married Couples?

Marriage is one of life’s most significant commitments, and understanding what Jesus wants for married couples can guide us in building strong, fulfilling relationships.

The teachings of Jesus, found in the Bible, offer timeless wisdom on how to nurture and sustain a loving, godly marriage.

Let’s explore what Jesus’ teachings reveal about His desires for married couples.

What Does Jesus Want for Married Couples

The Foundation of Love and Commitment

At the heart of Jesus’ message is love.

In John 15:12, Jesus commands,

“Love each other as I have loved you.”

This principle is essential for marriage.

But what kind of love are we talking about?

Unconditional Love: The love Jesus wants couples to have is unconditional, mirroring His own sacrificial love for humanity (Ephesians 5:25).

This means loving your spouse despite their flaws and imperfections.

Commitment:

In Matthew 19:6, Jesus states,

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

This emphasizes the importance of commitment.

Marriage isn’t just a contract; it’s a covenant—a sacred bond that should be honored and protected.

Mutual Respect and Service

Jesus exemplified servant leadership.

He taught that greatness comes from serving others (Matthew 20:26-28).

For married couples, this translates into mutual respect and service.

Respect: Ephesians 5:33 advises,

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Respect in marriage involves honoring your partner’s opinions, feelings, and needs.

Service: Serving one another means putting your spouse’s needs before your own.

This could be as simple as helping with chores or as profound as supporting them through difficult times.

Communication and Understanding

Good communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship.

Jesus modeled perfect communication in His interactions—always listening, always understanding.

Active Listening: James 1:19 encourages,

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

In marriage, being an active listener helps you understand your spouse’s perspective and feelings.

Empathy: Jesus showed empathy in every encounter.

Couples should strive to understand each other’s emotions and experiences, fostering a deeper connection and trust.

Forgiveness and Grace

Forgiveness is central to Jesus’ teachings.

In marriage, where offenses are inevitable, practicing forgiveness is crucial.

Forgive as Jesus Forgave:

Colossians 3:13 advises, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Holding onto grudges can poison a marriage. Letting go and forgiving mirrors Jesus’ forgiveness toward us.

Extend Grace: Just as Jesus extends grace to us, couples should show grace to each other.

This means giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt and not being quick to judge or criticize.

Unity and Partnership

Jesus desires unity in marriage.

He speaks of the two becoming one flesh (Mark 10:8).

This unity goes beyond physical closeness; it’s about being partners in every aspect of life.

Shared Goals and Values: Having common goals and values strengthens a marriage.

Whether it’s financial planning, raising children, or spiritual growth, being aligned helps navigate life’s challenges together.

Support and Encouragement: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 highlights the importance of support:

“Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

Supporting and encouraging each other fosters a sense of teamwork and resilience.

Faith and Spiritual Growth

Jesus wants couples to grow together spiritually.

A strong spiritual foundation can anchor a marriage through life’s storms.

Praying Together: Praying together fosters spiritual intimacy.

Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

This includes couples. Sharing prayers can strengthen your bond with each other and with God.

Study and Worship: Engaging in regular Bible study and worship as a couple deepens your faith and provides a shared spiritual journey.

This joint growth nurtures a deeper connection and a shared purpose.

Handling Conflicts with Grace

Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but Jesus’ teachings provide a blueprint for handling them with grace.

Seek Peace: Matthew 5:9 teaches,

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

Strive to resolve conflicts peacefully and constructively.

Reconciliation: In Matthew 18:15, Jesus advises addressing conflicts directly and seeking reconciliation.

This approach can help restore harmony and prevent misunderstandings from festering.

The Role of Sacrifice

Jesus’ life was a testament to sacrifice.

In marriage, sacrifice is about putting your partner’s needs before your own and sometimes compromising for the greater good of the relationship.

Selflessness: Philippians 2:3-4 encourages us to,

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

In marriage, this means considering your spouse’s needs and desires.

Giving Up for Love:

Sometimes, loving your spouse means giving up something important to you.

It’s about finding a balance that honors both partners’ needs and strengthens the relationship.

Building a Legacy of Love

Finally, Jesus wants married couples to build a legacy of love—a relationship that reflects His love and serves as an example to others.

Modeling Christ’s Love: Ephesians 5:2 encourages us to,

“Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.”

Your marriage can be a testament to Christ’s love, inspiring others to pursue loving, committed relationships.

Passing on Values: Teaching your children and those around you the values of love, respect, and faith creates a lasting legacy.

Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

Conclusion

In essence, Jesus desires for married couples to love each other deeply, respect and serve one another, communicate openly, forgive freely, and grow together in faith.

By following these principles, couples can build a marriage that not only thrives but also reflects the love and grace of Jesus Christ.

Remember, marriage is a journey, and with Jesus as your guide, it’s a journey filled with love, growth, and profound fulfillment.

FAQs About Jesus’ Desires for Married Couples

What does Jesus say about love in marriage?

Jesus emphasizes unconditional love in marriage, mirroring His own love for humanity.

In John 15:12, He commands,

“Love each other as I have loved you.” This means loving your spouse without conditions, just as Jesus loves us, regardless of our flaws and mistakes.

How can we build commitment in our marriage according to Jesus’ teachings?

Commitment is crucial in marriage. Jesus highlights its importance in Matthew 19:6:

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Building commitment involves making a conscious effort to honor your marriage vows, remaining faithful, and working through challenges together.

What does mutual respect look like in a Christian marriage?

Mutual respect in a Christian marriage involves honoring each other’s opinions, feelings, and needs.

Ephesians 5:33 says,

“Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Respect is shown through active listening, valuing each other’s perspectives, and treating each other with dignity.

How important is communication in a marriage?

Good communication is essential for a healthy marriage.

Jesus modeled perfect communication through His interactions—always listening and understanding.

James 1:19 advises,

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Effective communication involves both talking and actively listening to understand each other better.

What role does forgiveness play in marriage?

Forgiveness is vital in marriage.

Colossians 3:13 teaches,

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Since conflicts and misunderstandings are inevitable, forgiving your spouse helps heal and strengthen the relationship.

How can we maintain unity in our marriage?

Maintaining unity involves being partners in every aspect of life.

Jesus spoke of the two becoming one flesh (Mark 10:8), highlighting the deep connection and partnership in marriage.

Couples can maintain unity by sharing goals, values, and supporting each other through all challenges.

What does Jesus want for our spiritual growth as a couple?

Jesus wants couples to grow together spiritually.

Praying together, studying the Bible, and worshiping as a couple deepens your faith and strengthens your bond.

Matthew 18:20 says,

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them,” which includes the spiritual unity of a married couple.

How should we handle conflicts in our marriage?

Handling conflicts with grace is essential.

Jesus teaches in Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

Strive to resolve disagreements peacefully and seek reconciliation, as advised in Matthew 18:15.

Address conflicts directly and work towards restoring harmony.

What does sacrifice mean in the context of marriage?

In marriage, sacrifice involves putting your partner’s needs before your own and finding a balance that honors both partners.

Philippians 2:3-4 encourages us to,

“Value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

This means considering your spouse’s needs and sometimes giving up something important for the sake of the relationship.

How can we build a lasting legacy of love in our marriage?

Building a legacy of love involves modeling Christ’s love in your marriage. Ephesians 5:2 encourages us to,

“Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us.”

Your relationship can inspire others to pursue loving, committed marriages.

Teaching your children and those around you the values of love, respect, and faith helps create a lasting impact.

How can we pray together as a couple?

Praying together can strengthen your spiritual connection.

Find a quiet time to pray for each other, your relationship, and any challenges you face.

Sharing your prayers and gratitude fosters a deeper bond and aligns your spiritual journey.

What are some practical ways to serve each other in marriage?

Serving each other in marriage means putting your spouse’s needs before your own.

This can include simple acts like helping with chores, supporting each other’s goals, and being there during tough times.

Following Jesus’ example of servant leadership, as seen in Matthew 20:26-28, encourages us to serve our spouses selflessly.

How can we keep our marriage aligned with Jesus’ teachings?

Keeping your marriage aligned with Jesus’ teachings involves regular prayer, studying the Bible together, and seeking His guidance in all aspects of your relationship.

Embrace His principles of love, respect, forgiveness, and unity, and strive to live them out daily.

What should we do if we’re struggling to apply these principles in our marriage?

If you’re struggling, seek support from trusted friends, family, or counselors who can offer guidance.

Regularly pray for wisdom and strength to apply Jesus’ teachings in your marriage.

Remember, it’s a journey, and seeking help is a step towards strengthening your relationship.

By incorporating these teachings and principles into your marriage, you can build a strong, loving, and enduring relationship that reflects the love and grace of Jesus Christ.