What is Forgiveness According to Matthew?

Forgiveness is a central theme in the teachings of Jesus, especially in the Gospel of Matthew.

If you’ve ever struggled with forgiving someone or understanding what true forgiveness means, Matthew provides profound insights.

In this article, we’ll dive into what forgiveness means in the Gospel of Matthew, exploring its significance, and practical applications in our daily lives.

Understanding Forgiveness in Matthew

In Matthew, forgiveness isn’t just a nice-to-have; it’s essential to your spiritual life and relationships with others.

Jesus emphasizes forgiveness repeatedly, stressing its importance and divine nature.

Key Verses on Forgiveness

Matthew 6:12:

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Matthew 18:21-22:

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”

Matthew 18:35:

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

These verses highlight that forgiveness isn’t just about absolving others; it’s a reflection of how we seek forgiveness from God.

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

One of the most powerful teachings on forgiveness in Matthew is the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:23-35).

Here’s a summary and its implications:

The Story

The King and the Servant:

A king wanted to settle accounts with his servants.

One servant owed him ten thousand bags of gold—a debt he couldn’t repay.

The king ordered that he, his family, and all he had be sold to repay the debt.

The Servant’s Plea:

The servant begged for mercy, promising to pay back everything.

The king, moved by compassion, canceled the debt and let him go.

The Servant’s Actions:

Later, this same servant found a fellow servant who owed him a hundred silver coins. Despite the second servant’s pleas, he refused to show mercy and had him thrown into prison.

The King’s Response:

When the king heard of this, he was furious.

He called the first servant wicked and reinstated the original debt, sending him to be tortured until he could pay it all back.

Lessons from the Parable

God’s Infinite Mercy:

The king’s forgiveness of the huge debt represents God’s infinite mercy towards us.

No matter how great our sins, God is willing to forgive.

Our Call to Forgive:

We’re called to mirror this mercy.

If God forgives our enormous debts, we must forgive others’ smaller transgressions against us.

The Consequences of Unforgiveness:

Holding onto grudges and refusing to forgive leads to spiritual and emotional imprisonment.

Just as the unforgiving servant was punished, so will we be if we don’t forgive.

Practical Forgiveness in Daily Life

Forgiveness can be tough, especially when you’ve been deeply hurt.

However, Matthew offers practical steps to help us embrace forgiveness in our daily lives.

Steps to Forgiveness

Acknowledge the Hurt:

It’s okay to feel pain.

Recognize your feelings and the impact of the hurt.

Seek God’s Help:

Pray for the strength to forgive.

Remember Matthew 6:12, where we ask God to forgive us as we forgive others.

Make a Decision to Forgive:

Forgiveness is a choice, not just a feeling.

Decide to release the person from your anger and resentment.

Reflect on God’s Forgiveness:

Remind yourself of the times God has forgiven you.

This reflection can soften your heart towards others.

Let Go of Revenge:

Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge… but leave room for God’s wrath.”

Trust that God will handle justice.

Focus on Healing:

Instead of dwelling on the hurt, focus on your healing and moving forward.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done.

It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of bitterness and allowing God’s peace to fill your heart.

Emotional Freedom:

Holding onto anger can cause stress and unhappiness.

Forgiving releases these negative emotions, bringing peace.

Improved Relationships:

Forgiveness can restore relationships and build stronger bonds based on understanding and grace.

Spiritual Growth:

Forgiving others brings you closer to God. It’s a spiritual exercise that enhances your faith and trust in God’s mercy.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Forgiveness doesn’t always lead to reconciliation.

In some cases, maintaining distance might be necessary for your safety and well-being.

Forgiveness is about releasing the emotional hold the hurt has on you, not necessarily resuming a relationship.

When Reconciliation is Possible

Mutual Effort:

Reconciliation requires effort from both parties.

There must be a willingness to work through issues.

Healthy Boundaries:

Set boundaries to protect yourself while rebuilding trust.

Seek Mediation:

Sometimes, a neutral third party, like a pastor or counselor, can help facilitate reconciliation.

When It’s Not Possible

Unrepentant Behavior:

If the other person continues harmful behavior, reconciliation may not be safe or wise.

Emotional Safety:

Your emotional and mental well-being should come first.

If contact with the person causes distress, maintaining distance might be best.

Final Thoughts

Forgiveness, according to Matthew, is a profound and transformative act.

It’s about extending the same mercy we receive from God to others.

It’s not always easy, but it’s essential for our spiritual, emotional, and relational health.

Remember the lessons from the Gospel of Matthew and the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant—choose forgiveness, seek God’s help, and experience the freedom and peace it brings.

By embracing forgiveness, you’re not only obeying Jesus’ teachings but also paving the way for a more compassionate and fulfilling life.

FAQs about Forgiveness According to Matthew

Q: Why is forgiveness important in the Gospel of Matthew?

Forgiveness is crucial in Matthew because it reflects God’s mercy towards us.

Jesus emphasizes forgiving others as an essential aspect of spiritual life and relational harmony.

Q: What does the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant teach about forgiveness?

The parable highlights that God forgives us generously and expects us to extend the same mercy to others.

It warns against holding grudges and the consequences of refusing to forgive.

Q: How often should I forgive someone who wrongs me?

Jesus teaches in Matthew 18:22 to forgive “seventy-seven times,” symbolizing boundless forgiveness.

It means continually forgiving others, reflecting God’s infinite mercy.

Q: Can forgiveness lead to reconciliation?

While forgiveness is about releasing anger and resentment, reconciliation depends on mutual effort and trust-building.

It’s possible but not always necessary for a relationship to be restored.

Q: What are practical steps to forgive someone?

Acknowledge your hurt.
Seek God’s help through prayer.
Decide to forgive.
Reflect on God’s forgiveness towards you.
Let go of thoughts of revenge.
Focus on healing and moving forward.

Q: Is it okay to forgive but not forget?

Yes, forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the wrongdoing.

It’s about freeing yourself from the emotional burden while learning from the experience and setting healthy boundaries.

Q: What should I do if the person I need to forgive is unrepentant?

Forgiveness is about your emotional and spiritual well-being, not the other person’s actions.

You can forgive without condoning their behavior or resuming the relationship, especially if it’s harmful.

Q: How does forgiveness affect my spiritual growth?

Forgiveness aligns you with God’s will, deepens your faith, and brings you closer to Him.

It’s a practice of mercy that fosters spiritual maturity and peace.

Q: What if I find it hard to forgive someone?

It’s normal to struggle with forgiveness, especially in severe cases.

Pray for strength, reflect on God’s forgiveness in your life, and consider seeking counsel from a trusted spiritual advisor or counselor.

Q: How can I teach my children about forgiveness according to Matthew?

Share Bible stories like the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, model forgiveness in your own actions, and encourage them to talk about their feelings and the importance of letting go of grudges.