Matthew 19:5 is a verse from the New Testament of the Bible that speaks to the profound and enduring nature of marriage.
Understanding this verse gives insight into how marriage was intended to be viewed in both a religious and a societal context.
In this article, we’ll break down Matthew 19:5, explore its implications, and see how it applies to our lives today.
The Verse in Focus
Matthew 19:5 (NIV) states:
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
This verse is part of a larger conversation where Jesus addresses questions about marriage and divorce.
To truly grasp its significance, let’s look at the context.
The Context of Matthew 19:5
The Setting
In Matthew 19, Jesus is teaching in Judea when the Pharisees approach Him with a question intended to test Him.
They ask about the legality of divorce for any reason.
Jesus responds by referring to the creation narrative, emphasizing God’s original design for marriage.
Jesus’ Response
Jesus says in Matthew 19:4-6 (NIV):
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
In these verses, Jesus quotes Genesis 2:24, reinforcing the idea that marriage is a divine institution designed to be permanent and unifying.
Key Concepts in Matthew 19:5
Leaving and Cleaving
- Leaving: The phrase “a man will leave his father and mother” signifies a significant life change.
It’s not just about physical departure but also about establishing a new primary family unit.
This shift underscores the importance and commitment required in marriage.
- Cleaving: To “be united” or to “cleave” means to stick together firmly.
This isn’t a casual attachment but a strong, enduring bond.
The Hebrew word used in Genesis implies a strong, unbreakable connection.
Becoming One Flesh
- Unity: “The two will become one flesh” highlights the profound unity that marriage brings.
It’s more than just a physical union; it’s emotional, spiritual, and personal. This oneness is a mystery that reflects the depth of the marital relationship.
- Exclusive Relationship: This unity implies exclusivity and faithfulness.
In a world where relationships can be seen as disposable, Matthew 19:5 calls for a deep, lasting commitment.
Implications for Marriage Today
Commitment and Sacrifice
Marriage, according to Matthew 19:5, requires a willingness to leave behind previous family ties and create a new, primary bond with one’s spouse.
This doesn’t mean abandoning parents but rather prioritizing the marriage relationship above all other earthly relationships.
Unity and Intimacy
The call to become “one flesh” speaks to the intimate connection that should characterize a marriage.
It’s a union that involves sharing lives, goals, and even challenges.
In practical terms, this means working together as a team, supporting each other, and growing closer over time.
Permanence of Marriage
Jesus’ reference to Genesis underscores the permanence intended in marriage.
While contemporary society often views marriage as temporary or conditional, Matthew 19:5 suggests a lifelong commitment.
Divorce was not part of the original design but became permissible due to human hardness of heart (Matthew 19:8).
Faithfulness and Exclusivity
The unity described in Matthew 19:5 also implies a call to faithfulness.
Adultery and other breaches of trust are seen as violations of the “one flesh” principle.
Faithfulness builds trust and deepens the bond between spouses.
Addressing Common Questions
Why is this verse important?
Matthew 19:5 is foundational for understanding Christian views on marriage.
It sets a high standard for commitment, unity, and faithfulness, reflecting God’s design for relationships.
How does this verse apply if you’re not married?
Even if you’re not married, Matthew 19:5 offers valuable insights into how relationships should be approached.
It teaches the importance of commitment, the value of unity, and the need for faithfulness in any close relationship.
What if marriage doesn’t look like this today?
It’s important to recognize that while the ideal may be challenging, it’s something to strive for.
Many marriages face difficulties, but understanding and aiming for the principles in Matthew 19:5 can help guide couples through tough times.
Practical Applications
For Married Couples
- Prioritize Your Spouse: Make your marriage your primary earthly relationship.
This means putting your spouse’s needs above those of your parents, friends, or even children.
- Work on Unity: Regularly invest time and effort into growing closer to your spouse.
This can include date nights, open communication, and shared activities.
- Be Faithful: Guard your marriage by being faithful in actions and thoughts.
Avoid situations that could lead to temptation or misunderstandings.
For Those Preparing for Marriage
- Understand the Commitment: Recognize that marriage is a lifelong commitment.
It’s not just about the wedding day but about building a life together.
- Seek Unity: Look for a partner with whom you can build a deep, unified relationship.
Shared values and goals are essential.
- Prepare for Challenges: Every marriage faces challenges.
Be ready to work through difficulties together, always aiming for the unity described in Matthew 19:5.
For Singles
- Value Relationships: Even in friendships or family ties, aim for strong, faithful connections.
The principles of unity and commitment apply broadly.
- Prepare for the Future: If you hope to marry one day, start cultivating qualities like faithfulness, commitment, and the ability to form deep bonds.
Conclusion
Matthew 19:5 offers timeless wisdom on marriage, emphasizing commitment, unity, and faithfulness.
Whether you’re married, preparing for marriage, or single, these principles can enrich your relationships.
Reflect on how you can apply the lessons from this verse to build stronger, more meaningful connections in your life.
By understanding and embracing the message of Matthew 19:5, we can foster relationships that reflect God’s design and bring joy, fulfillment, and lasting unity.
FAQs for Matthew 19:5
1. What does Matthew 19:5 say about marriage?
Matthew 19:5 emphasizes the importance of marriage as a lifelong and unifying commitment.
It states that a man should leave his parents and be united with his wife, forming a deep, enduring bond where the two become one flesh.
2. How does “leaving and cleaving” apply to modern marriages?
“Leaving and cleaving” means that once married, individuals should prioritize their relationship with their spouse over all other family ties.
This involves creating a new, primary family unit and dedicating oneself fully to the marriage, while still respecting and honoring one’s parents.
3. What does “one flesh” mean in the context of marriage?
“One flesh” refers to the profound unity that marriage brings.
It’s not just a physical union but also an emotional, spiritual, and personal connection.
It implies that married couples are to share their lives completely, working together as one entity.
4. Why did Jesus refer to Genesis 2:24 in Matthew 19:5?
Jesus referenced Genesis 2:24 to highlight God’s original design for marriage.
By quoting this Old Testament verse, He emphasized that marriage was intended to be a permanent, exclusive, and unifying relationship from the very beginning of creation.
5. What does Matthew 19:5 teach about divorce?
Matthew 19:5, within the broader context of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19, suggests that divorce is not part of God’s original plan for marriage.
Jesus acknowledges that divorce was allowed due to human shortcomings, but He reinforces that marriage is meant to be a lifelong bond.
6. How can I apply the teachings of Matthew 19:5 if I’m single?
Even if you’re not married, the principles of commitment, unity, and faithfulness in Matthew 19:5 can be applied to other relationships.
Valuing deep, faithful connections and preparing for a future marriage by cultivating these qualities can enrich your life and relationships.
7. What if my marriage doesn’t meet the ideals described in Matthew 19:5?
It’s common for marriages to face challenges.
The ideals in Matthew 19:5 serve as a goal to strive for rather than a standard everyone must meet perfectly.
Focus on building commitment, unity, and faithfulness in your marriage, and seek support if needed to grow together with your spouse.
8. How can I prioritize my spouse according to Matthew 19:5?
Prioritizing your spouse means putting their needs and your marriage relationship above all other earthly ties.
This could involve making time for your spouse, supporting their goals, and ensuring that your actions and decisions strengthen your marriage.
9. Does “one flesh” imply that married couples should lose their individuality?
No, “one flesh” doesn’t mean losing individuality.
It means that while each person retains their unique identity, they come together to form a united team.
Couples should support and complement each other, fostering both personal growth and mutual unity.
10. What practical steps can couples take to “cleave” to each other?
Couples can “cleave” to each other by:
- Spending quality time together: Regularly investing time in each other strengthens the bond.
- Communicating openly and honestly: Sharing thoughts and feelings openly fosters closeness.
- Supporting each other’s goals and dreams: Encouraging and helping each other achieve personal and shared goals builds unity.
- Resolving conflicts constructively: Addressing issues calmly and respectfully helps maintain a strong connection.
11. How does Matthew 19:5 influence Christian views on marriage?
Matthew 19:5 shapes Christian views on marriage by underscoring its sanctity, permanence, and the profound unity it’s meant to create.
It calls for deep commitment, faithfulness, and the prioritization of the marital relationship above all other earthly ties.
12. Can the principles of Matthew 19:5 help in other types of relationships?
Yes, the principles of commitment, unity, and faithfulness can enhance any close relationship, whether it’s with family, friends, or colleagues.
Applying these values can lead to stronger, more meaningful connections in all areas of life.
By understanding these FAQs, you can gain a deeper appreciation for the teachings of Matthew 19:5 and how they apply to various aspects of life and relationships.
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